I’ve Cooked For People I Should Have Poisoned So Yes I Do Have Self Control Shirt
$19.95
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Jul 04
Jul 08 - Jul 09
Jul 09 - Jul 14
Inject some dark wit into your wardrobe with this I’ve Cooked For People I Should Have Poisoned So Yes I Do Have Self Control Shirt. Perfect for cooks, servers, or anyone who’s ever bitten their tongue, this shirt offers a humorous, cathartic nod to personal restraint. Ideal for those who use humor as armor and storytelling as strength. Let the world know you’ve mastered the art of holding back—with style and sarcasm.
Dark Humor Meets Self-Restraint: The I’ve Cooked For People I Should Have Poisoned So Yes I Do Have Self Control Shirt
Some battles are fought in silence, and some victories go unacknowledged. This I’ve Cooked For People I Should Have Poisoned So Yes I Do Have Self Control Shirt tells the tale of every person who’s endured toxic environments—be it behind a stovetop, in an office kitchen, or at the family dinner table—and still chose grace over vengeance. It’s more than a graphic tee; it’s a quiet roar of restraint from those who’ve mastered the art of not reacting.
Rooted in the spirit of sharp-tongued icons like Anthony Bourdain or the witty resilience of Julia Child, this shirt embodies a sentiment shared by anyone who’s navigated hostility with dignity. Whether you’re a professional chef, a home cook with stories to tell, or just someone who’s ever served a meal through gritted teeth, the message resonates—fierce yet familiar.
The phrase printed boldly across the front reflects the biting humor that has long been a coping mechanism in the culinary world and beyond. Think of wartime cooks who fed both allies and enemies, or hospitality workers who endured impossible shifts and still offered a smile. The design is a nod to the unseen strength required to hold back when every nerve screams otherwise.
Wearing this shirt is a way to align with a tribe of quietly powerful people who’ve learned to turn bitterness into banter. It’s not about hate—it’s about self-mastery. About carrying on, even when it would’ve been easier to let the metaphorical poison flow. That, truly, is self-control.
Shipping Policy & Manufacturing Info
Our shirts are made when ordered. Due to the time variability of on-demand manufacturing, we offer 2 options for how quickly you want to receive your order. You can select from the following choices in checkout.Standard Shipping ($4.99+)
- Orders using this option generally arrive 5-10 days (U.S. orders) and it takes 2 weeks for International orders after being manufactured and shipped. (See notes below)
- Manufacturing times for this option vary more around busier times of the year or during extreme circumstances such as covid-19 shutdowns.
Shipping and expedited manufacturing ($19.99+) (U.S. Only)
- Orders using this option jump to the front of the manufacturing queue which can generally save a couple days (or more during busier times of the year).
- It's highly recommended to use this option if you are ordering for a specific event or holiday.
- Orders using this option generally arrive 2-3 days after being manufactured and shipped. (U.S. only)
- Orders using expedited manufacturing will be printed when the next batch of orders are processed which can vary depending on seasonality and other factors.
Please Note:
- We do not guarantee shipping or arrival dates.
- Manufacturing during the majority of the year takes between 1-5 business days (Mon-Fri) however can take more than a week during the heaviest shopping times of the year. Extreme circumstances such as covid-19 may delay order manufacturing and/or shipping by an additional week or more.
- All manufacturing and shipping times mentioned are just estimates and will vary.
- Some of our popular designs may be pre-printed and may ship out faster than less commonly ordered designs/style/color combinations.